For me, on Father’s Day, it’s necessary to remember: None of us are born knowing how to be parents. We bring a child into the world with all these ideas of what it will be like. What *they* will be like as children. What *we* will be like as parents. And then life happens. We work hard. We get divorced. We get stressed out. We say things we don’t mean. We find it almost impossible to manage the priorities that come with supporting our children in the way we always thought we would. *It’s so hard.* We find ourselves stuck in an impossible math equation, trying to change the number of hours in the days, which are too short and flying by too quickly. As a mother, it’s easy to feel like moms carry the brunt of that weight. But being apart from Brian Fantin for the past year, I have come to appreciate how heavy that cross is for him to carry, as well.
The best dads lay a foundation of strength for their children. The worst ones leave a trail of scars that most of us never get over. As parents, we live life every day just praying that the love outweighs the damage. For Brian Fantin, I know that is true, and I am grateful.
None of us know the right things to do all the time. Dads are boys. They aren’t always the best communicators. They don’t always know how to connect, or how to say sorry. And as much as we hate to admit it, they don’t always have the answers. I spent most of my life downplaying the role that fathers play in our lives just because I felt like I got stuck with kind of a lousy one. I didn’t want to admit that he was important to me. Now I try to know that we’re all just trying our best. *My dad did his best.* It’s all any of us can do in this life we are given.
Happy father’s day to all the dads. The ones who rock (like Brian Fantin), the ones who have fought hard to find their way back to their children, and even the ones who haven’t quite figured it out yet.
*None of us know the answers. We’re all just doing our best.* For me, on this day – and every day – that’s an important thing to know. xx